AWARENESS

I live in a small town with an even smaller  University Campus. There is a two lane road 

dividing the University and additional parking lots. Before crosswalks and speed limit signs 

were added, there were several serious accidents.


The requisite crosswalks were painted, in hopes that students, staff, and visitors would be 

safer.  However, both pedestrians and drivers have responsibilities. Drivers must 

observe the speed limit, be alert, and drive defensively.  Pedestrians must be observant, 

cautious, and use common sense.


I have seen students not use the crosswalks at all. They just meander across the street 

expecting people will stop for them. Some walk blithely across the street texting. 

Others step off the curb without hesitation. Do they not understand that they, too, must 

perform an action to keep safe.  



All is not lost. I applaud those who stop and look before  proceeding. I, especially, appreciate 

those who wave or smile a thank you.  Common courtesy  is still alive and well.


All drivers and pedestrians whether in small towns or large cities must be aware of how their 

actions impact  lives, theirs and others.

Live simply.

Speak gently.

Love unconditionally.

SOUTHERN BAPTISTS ADVOCATE YOUNGER MARRIAGES: SAY WHAT?!

SAY WHAT?!

After completing my five part post about why waiting to get married and/or having children is so important to a healthy and stable marriage, I eagerly joined friends for lunch and scintillating conversation. Knowing that I had posted my article on my blog, one friend directed my attention to an astounding piece of news about young marriages. You have to believe me when I say my mouth literally fell open. Just when I thought the Christian Right couldn’t go any further right on the Liberal - Conservative continuum, I do believe they actually fell off. I kid you not!

“Andrew Walker, director of policy studies for the Southern Baptist Convention's Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, and Jon Akin, senior pastor of Fairview Church in Lebanon, Tennessee, made the argument in a column for the Baptist Press earlier this week.”

"We do not advocate a specific age; rather, we believe that young people should make themselves 'marry-able' younger," wrote Walker and Akin. Are Walker and Akin trying to coin a phrase with marry-able younger? The phrase is awkward on the tongue and the argument even more unpalatable.

I tried to think of ways to paraphrase this next quote, but I could not get my head around it. Walker and Akin state, “It's impractical and unhelpful to advise and encourage young men and women who reach sexual maturity at the age of 12 or 13 to wait 15 years before marriage and still remain pure.”   So, are they giving Southern Baptists’ Teens a mandate to get married at the young age of twelve? 

This is a throwback to the Dark Ages when girls were married off at a ridiculous age.  High maternal and infant death rates significantly lowered the over all life expectancy of that time and continued to do so well into the 19th century. Of course, causes other than the young ages of the mothers also contributed to high maternal and infant mortality: basic hygiene being a big one. But the bottom line is that anyone without adequate resources (financial, access to good health care, daily living skills, education, etc) is at greater risk, and children born into such situations fare far worse than their more fortunate counterparts.

An impressive number of research studies have been conducted on teen marriages. The unquestionable truth is early marriages are detrimental to achieving a healthy and stable family. 

The Best Age at which to Marry: What Are the Problems?

The Best Age at which to Marry

What Are the Problems?

Research has determined specific characteristics of people who marry early. Many scientists predict
there will be catastrophic drawbacks to both the individuals and our society. (Read Wilcox, W.
Bradford and Hamilton.”Why Marriage Matters.” State of Our Unions. 2001).

Obviously there is a need to educate young people about the adverse consequences of early marriage. It has been documented that young women who give birth outside of marriage, and their children  suffer the most. Usually these women, on the average, are younger, have less education, and have lower incomes than those who are married. Children born of unwed or teen  parents are more likely to live in poverty and have more developmental  issues.

 I would suggest reading Academic and Behavioral Outcomes Among Children of Young Mothers by Levine, Pollock, and Comfort to understand the devastating effects young mothers could have on their children’s lives. Subsequently, who would ever deny a child the right to a healthier and more productive life?


I concede that when young people fall deeply and passionately in love and have the maturity to realize that in order for their marriage to succeed, there should be open and honest communication, a willingness to change one’s ideas, or at the very least, the ability to compromise.

Be that as it may, there are definite advantages for those who wait to get married. Startling evidence and data prove being married at a later age has more positive outcomes on family stability, women’s mental and physical health, and children’s development.

Live simply.

Speak softly.

Love unconditionally.

The Best Age for Marriage: Why Wait to Marry?

The Best Age for Marriage

Why Wait to Marry?

 The trend of marrying at a later age is probably due to financial
instability, which is one of the biggest predictors of divorce.  Kim Painter, reporter for USA Today states, “Young people delay marriage to finish their educations, launch their careers, and try to achieve academic success.” To illustrate, Christine B. Whelan, an assistant sociology professor agrees, “Easily measurable factors like income and job opportunities are only part of the explanation for why college graduates have stronger marriages.” Extensive studies such as those the Pew Research Center provides prove that educated adults tend to look towards the future and raise their families to value education and family commitments. The more educated one becomes, the more self control and satisfaction one develops in life.

Live simply.

Speak softly.

Love unconditionally.

Next: So, what's the problem?

The Best Age for Marriage:Early 60's Culture and Marriage

The Best Age for Marriage

Early 60's Culture and Marriage

I was born and raised in a small coal mining and dress manufacturing town in North Eastern Pennsylvania. During the time I spent in high school (1958-1961), the consensus was that women did not go to college. Women were supposed to marry and take care of their husbands, homes, and children. 


My dad, who only had a fifth-grade education, insisted that I attend college. I am thankful for his understanding of the importance of education. Curiously, my dad’s rationale rejected the norm of his generation, although he was traditional in other matters. 

I can still remember vividly what he said, “ I want you to go to college and get an education. In that way, if anything happens to your husband, you could take care of yourself and your children." Little did my father know what an invaluable gift he bestowed upon me. In 1965, I received my Bachelor of Science Degree in Education. I married soon afterward at the age of 21. Many of my high school classmates had married by then. Why Marriage Matters: Facts and Figures featured in For Your Marriage discloses, “In 1960, the median age [of marriage] for men was 23 and 20 for women.” (Wilcox) My classmates and I had fit neatly into that median age group. Today, the 2010 U.S. Census data  reports that the median age of first marriage for men is 28.7 and 26.5 for women. 

Live simply.

Speak softly.

Love unconditionally

Next: Why Wait to Marry?

The Best Age for Marriage: Once Upon a Time

THE BEST AGE FOR MARRIAGE

(FAIRYTALES, DREAMS, AND REALITIES) 

Once Upon a Time

Do you recognize this picture? Of course you do. From the movie Pinocchio, it is Jiminy Cricket singing, “When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you.”  (Disney)

This song has been around for over seventy-four years and has, no doubt, heartened many children, including myself, to believe in this inspiring message. Perhaps, as a young child , you dreamed of your future and wondered what life had in store for you. Fairy tales, folklore, and fantasy play an important part in a child’s life. Research has shown how important imagination is to a child’s cognitive development. According to psychologist Brunno Bettelheim, (‘Fairy tales [folklore and fantasy] are an important tool for children learning to navigate reality and survive in a world ruled by adults’) (Carrie Hughes)

By now, you are undoubtedly wondering what this mini-lesson in child development has to do with the age at which people should marry. 

For example, consider the trials and tribulations through which Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel had to traverse. These are well known characters that most girls love to read about in story books. The beautiful heroine, in dire straits, is rescued by the prince and they live happily ever after.

Conversely, the boys in their peer group are off saving the world, imitating G.I. Joe, Ironman, or Superman. Action, catastrophic events, and myriad scenes of  explosions and devastation, have infinite possibilities for a fantasy hero. Furthermore, heroes frequently snap up the girls at the end of most stories.

For many men and women, this archetypal notion of true love, despite the fact that these stories help develop us into strong, discerning, and mature individuals,  play a pernicious unconscious role when couples date and consider marriage. Consequently, the success of finding one’s Soul Mate, Mr. Right, or Mr. Right for Right Now may well depend on the age at which one decides to marry.

Live simply.

Speak softly.

Love unconditionally.

Next: Early 60's Culture and Marriage

DOGS KNOW BEST!

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” 

― Paul Terry