Friday, February 27, 2015

The Best Age for Marriage: Once Upon a Time

THE BEST AGE FOR MARRIAGE

(FAIRYTALES, DREAMS, AND REALITIES) 

Once Upon a Time


Do you recognize this picture? Of course you do. From the movie Pinocchio, it is Jiminy Cricket singing, “When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you.”  (Disney)


This song has been around for over seventy-four years and has, no doubt, heartened many children, including myself, to believe in this inspiring message. Perhaps, as a young child , you dreamed of your future and wondered what life had in store for you. Fairy tales, folklore, and fantasy play an important part in a child’s life. Research has shown how important imagination is to a child’s cognitive development. According to psychologist Brunno Bettelheim, (‘Fairy tales [folklore and fantasy] are an important tool for children learning to navigate reality and survive in a world ruled by adults’) (Carrie Hughes)


By now, you are undoubtedly wondering what this mini-lesson in child development has to do with the age at which people should marry. 


For example, consider the trials and tribulations through which Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel had to traverse. These are well known characters that most girls love to read about in story books. The beautiful heroine, in dire straits, is rescued by the prince and they live happily ever after.


Conversely, the boys in their peer group are off saving the world, imitating G.I. Joe, Ironman, or Superman. Action, catastrophic events, and myriad scenes of  explosions and devastation, have infinite possibilities for a fantasy hero. Furthermore, heroes frequently snap up the girls at the end of most stories.

For many men and women, this archetypal notion of true love, despite the fact that these stories help develop us into strong, discerning, and mature individuals,  play a pernicious unconscious role when couples date and consider marriage. Consequently, the success of finding one’s Soul Mate, Mr. Right, or Mr. Right for Right Now may well depend on the age at which one decides to marry.


Live simply.

Speak softly.

Love unconditionally.


Next: Early 60's Culture and Marriage

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